


the ones that made themselves known

by yadoiangel



Series: growing apart, growing together [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Atsumu Week, Atsumu Week 2020, Character Study, Farmer Kita Shinsuke, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Up, M/M, Miya Atsumu Being an Idiot, Miya Atsumu in Love, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Miya Atsumu, Past Relationship(s), Pining Sakusa Kiyoomi, Post-Timeskip, Pre-Timeskip, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, SakuAtsu Fluff, Sakusa is so Done, Supportive Miya Osamu, an attempt was made, no beta we die like men, past AtsuKita - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24894163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadoiangel/pseuds/yadoiangel
Summary: Day 7 Prompt: doors, restaurantAtsumu Miya has always been a go-getter, whether it be in volleyball or otherwise, and he was fine with that. He comes to a little reflecting later in his life only to realize that the three most important things to him were the things that made themselves known, and isn't that just staggering?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: growing apart, growing together [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876198
Comments: 12
Kudos: 106





	the ones that made themselves known

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, so please be gentle. My contribution to #AtsumuWeek2020

"Hey 'samu," Atsumu called his twin.

"What, 'tsumu?" Osamu answered him.

"What was tha' phrase we learned in english, with the doors an' all?"

"You mean _when one door closes, another one opens_?"

"Yeah that. What does tha' mean?"

"Sensei explained it as one never runs out of opp'rtunities, even if you got rejected, there'll always be anotha' one around the corner,"

Atsumu hummed.

"Why'd you even ask if you’re not gonna say anythin’ afterwards?" Osamu asked him, irritated.

"I was just tryin’ to remember. Yah don’t need to be so butt hurt about it," Atsumu retorted.

"Whatever. Don'tcha use your brain too hard or it might short circuit," Osamu told him, to which Atsumu threw a pen at his twin.

Osamu continued walking out of the gym's office, calling behind his back, "If Kita-san finds that pen lying around, yer dead."

"Yeh yeh shut up," Atsumu grumbled, but stood to look for the fallen pen.

Atsumu would never understand idioms, in english or nihongo.

Their team banner, for example; "We don't need memories," it didn't make sense. Even Kita-san didn't think it's applicable! Kita-san once said he was built upon the things he does, and you need memories for that don'tcha? You need to remember what you did in order for you to grow from them, don'tcha? Kita-san also said that things like winning or losing are just side effects, but Atsumu didn’t quite agree with that, because winning was something that allows him to continue to play volleyball, so it wasn’t just a side effect to him.

Atsumu thought that that’s in the same vein as the doors one. They were discussing it in class the other day, and it'll come up in a test, and he needed to pass in order to play in the Spring Nationals, so he's thinking about it, but otherwise things like this would be below his conscious thought. _Too much of a headache_ , he thought. Still, it didn’t make sense to him; there's no guarantee that when you lose one opportunity, you're given another one. Atsumu has seen it happen enough times to be cynical about it—you be good enough that that opportunity doesn't close on you, or you go out your way to find others; you don’t get to sit around and wait for an opportunity to find you like the idiom goes. He'll be the best setter to be chosen for pro teams when the time comes, and that's the only acceptable course of action for him.

"Atsumu-kun, what are you doing in the office?" Kita asked him as he stepped into the room, already in his training clothes.

"Uh, I was studyin’?" Atsumu said, though it sounded like a question.

Kita looked at the empty desk and at Atsumu's closed bag, and then pointedly stared at Atsumu.

"I swear I was! I was thinkin' bout my english tests! You can ask 'samu! I asked 'im a buncha questions too!" Atsumu defended himself.

"If you say so. It's time to train now, though. Get out of the chair and go change already," Kita scolded him.

"Okay," Atsumu hurried. He almost started running when he heard Kita say to himself,

"Why is there a pen lying around on the floor?"

* * *

Here's the thing. Miya Atsumu is a setter, and as a setter... well, he can't help but love his hitters, even for just a little bit, even just for a little while.

He wasn't always like this, no, as a kid he wasn’t even thinking about what it meant to be a setter. He had his twin, and that was enough for him about volleyball—as long as he had his twin, he can play, and everyone else will be left back behind the two of them.

As they grew older, though, awareness grew. Atsumu was a competitive one, and so was Osamu. The competition between the two of them started, but neither one minded it too much, in fact they enjoyed one upping the other every chance they got, and the rivalry was integrated into their relationship seamlessly.

The decision to be setter was a simple one for Atsumu, because of an example of someone older showed him—a player giving his hitters the best sets they could get so the hitters can shine; a player that sets the teams strategies and uses everyone on the team to break through the other’s. At a young age Atsumu took the roles in volleyball to heart: a team’s setter is a game’s play maker; the attackers are the stars that attract everyone in with their skill and power; the defenders are the starters and enders of rallies with their reliability and support; and oh how Atsumu wanted to be a play maker. He would push his hitters to be at their best, all the while supporting them with his sets and his plays.

Being an _actual_ setter for a team wasn’t quite as easy, as he needed to be the best out of everyone else to be a starter, and well, here comes in the twins’ competition: Osamu was assigned to be the setter, with Atsumu as an opposite hitter.

This was where the work started:

  * Atsumu, pestering their coach for tips and advice on how to be a good setter
  * Atsumu, pestering his mother to cook healthy food (even if ‘samu would be eating it too, well Atsumu thought that was just a bonus so he’ll have his twin as a rival for longer)
  * Atsumu, talking to the hitters to understand where their skills lie; and when he doesn’t see anything worthy of being a hitter, being _**an absolute little shit**_ to them (unfortunately, the work Atsumu was doing here was for volleyball, **not** for personal development)
  * Atsumu, always rearing to go to the gym to start training, sometimes dragging his twin, sometimes with Ojiro-kun, sometimes with whoever was in the gym, sometimes all on his own into the hours of the night
  * Atsumu, watching games of the likes of Romero and Orlov, analyzing plays he wanted to recreate, looking for strategies to fit his hitters, absorbing absolutely everything he could from those that went before him in the sport



This was where the work went: Atsumu, being assigned starting setter for their team, and even if people on the bench hated his guts because he was a blunt, critical little shit, they knew that Atsumu would only bring their team to victory.

This was what all the work **really** started: Atsumu, thinking, _finally, door open. Now it’s time to climb higher._

* * *

"The strongest challengers lost?"

"That was a super quick attack! How did Karasuno block that?"

"It was only Karasuno's own rookie duo, number 9 and 10. They're the ones with the super quick that the twins copied. Maybe that's how they knew?"

“Wow… I guess the Miya twins met their match huh?”

Atsumu could hear it all.

"Hey 'tsumu, I think we might've messed around a bit too much," Osamu said, clapping him on the shoulder.

There was a beat of silence before Atsumu answered with, "Yeah, I think so too, 'samu."

Just when Atsumu finally understood their team's banner, this happens. He understood it, yes, but when it came to winning and losing, he thought _I'll definitely remember this._

He went up to shake the other team's hands, and he wasn't planning on saying anything, but once he faced Karasuno's #10 he just couldn't help but point at him and say, "Shoyo-kun, one day I'm gonna set for you."

 _what the fuck atsumu why the fuck would you say that 'samu was right your age regresses back when you play you just lost to the kid and now you're wanting to play with him again_ —"but before that happens, I'm gonna whup the pants offa ya in next year's interhigh so you'd better be ready."

Word vomit? Or maybe he was just tired and he's a sore loser? Or maybe he just really wanted to play with who he thought were talented players and went out of his way to create that opportunity? Atsumu didn't really know, couldn’t be bothered to think on his impulsive words, but he was kinda glad he said that.

Osamu was waiting for him, and when he caught up, his twin asked him "Loser's last attempt to look cool, huh?" to which a scuffle ensued.

"Honestly, aren't you both tired? How can the both of ya still be moving around that much?" Ojiro asked the two.

"Gather ‘round! It's time to bow to the stands," Kita called out to everyone.

"C'mon, boo us. Losers don't need no consolation applause," Atsumu can't help but mumble to himself as they were bowing.

"SHUT YER MOUTH ATSUMU, YA LITTLE DIMWIT!" someone in the crowd screamed.

"Whoa, there's no way he could've heard me—" Atsumu wondered to himself, but was cut off with another shout from the crowd.

"IT'S SCRAWLED ALL OVER YER FACE, YA IDJIT! A GOOD GAME'S A GOOD GAME, AND WE'RE GONNA TELL YOU IT WAS A GOOD GAME, YOU GOT THAT?" and then the whole crowd kept on applauding them.

Atsumu didn't know what to feel about that.

On the way to cool down the twins weren't talking, but both of them had the same thing in mind.

"Kita-san?" Atsumu started, "Um, we're sorr—"

"What? Gonna apologize to me so you can feel a bit better about yourselves?" Kita asked them with his intense stare.

"Wha?! N-No! 'Course not!" the twins exclaimed.

"I know, I know, sorry," Kita said, "But, I think you should save the apologies for when you've done something wrong,"

The twins looked at each other, and then back at Kita.

"I don't think you made a mistake by choosin' to do that quick set right then. I thought you were gonna score too, though I hafta say I hate the idea of tryin' stuff in real games that we ain't done in practice first," Kita can't help but add.

"That last rally there... we prolly just picked the wrong guys to try it against," Ojiro said.

"I agree," Kita said, "When you two get all fired up and gung-ho-like, you usually leave everybody else back behind you in the dust. But this once, the other guys were just as fired up and gung-ho-like as you two. It was amazin' right?" Kita said with a smile, "It ain't every day you get to play a game like that against a team like that. We got really lucky," he said as he walked ahead. Everyone was stopped by the smile behind him.

"Wait, did Kita-san just smile?" Atsumu asked, well, anyone who could have heard him.

"Yeah," Osamu answered.

"I caught him smiling bunches during the game," Riseki said.

"Bunches?! Yer kidding..." Atsumu said, disbelief evident in his tone and face.

"Still, for some reason I'm awfully frustrated," Kita continues on ahead of them, "Now, I did everything I could proper, and I did it right. I can say I don't have any regrets and mean it as the honest truth. Results like winning and losing, they're still just **side effects** that happen when I'm doin' what I oughta be doin' but... it's funny," Kita stopped and looked back at them.

"Now that we're here, I'm wishin' I had more chances to brag about you all... showin' off to everybody how amazing all my teammates are," Kita concludes.

At this, Ojiro and Ginjima teared up, and Riseki's face crumbled but he refused to let the tears down.

Atsumu wondered at this. Kita-san was always blunt with the team, and with the way he sticks to his rituals, the way he does every little thing—industriously, meticulously, thoroughly—Atsumu thought there was no place for emotions such as sentiment in his captain. It was weird, he thought; he never had someone be proud of him. Sure, his parents had told him he did a good job once in a while, but they never really understood his love for the sport. Their pride was something shallow to Atsumu. With Osamu, it was all pressure and expection to be better than his twin. The two of them would always be there for each other, of course, and that included the competition. He thought that with Osamu, the rivalry would be the definition of their relationship, but Atsumu wouldn't have it any other way.

Having his senpai say it outright—that he was worthy enough to be bragged about, by none other than Kita-san—who never bothers with frivolous things like showing off or being popular—well, it meant a lot more than it would have in the first place. It filled Atsumu up with... something? He can't name it, not really... it's like a weird mix of happiness, and confidence but not exactly confidence, no, it was more like knowledge—never wavering, never shaken—and it absolutely **overwhelmed** him.

"Go on and brag, senpai. We'll be the kind of teammates that you can brag about to your great-grandkids," Atsumu told him quietly.

Kita turned back to walk ahead, called behind him with a smile, "I look forward to it."

They **were** lucky to play a game like that against a team like that, but all Atsumu can think was _door closed._

* * *

"Thank you for the past three years," Kita told the team, “I said all I hadt’ say back at the nationals. I thought we didn’t make any mistakes with that last rally, but in the match against Karasuno, y’all still have things to work on,” here he glanced at the twins, which made Suna and Riseki snort, and Ojiro laugh out loud.

Kita went to Atsumu, holding out the captain’s jersey with both hands to him, “This is yours now. The team is in good hands with you, even if sometimes you are dumbass,” Kita finished.

 _Kita-san was trying to lighten up the mood,_ Atsumu realized, so he went with it.

“Kita-san… I can’t believe ya think I’ll be fit for captain!” Atsumu told him in mock surprise, but he still accepted the jersey. Kita has talked to him about it before, of course; this was just him formally accepting the role.

“With extreme reservations. I trust Suna to wrangle in the twins every now and again when they get into one of their fights,” Kita said to Suna. Suna just sighed.

“I’m happy too, getting to play with y’all. It was a good 3 years,” Ojiro said.

“Don’t go all sentimental on us now Aran-kun,” Omimi teased him.

“Go on home and rest, all of you still have classes tomorrow,” Kita said on his way to the office.

“You have classes too, you know,” Atsumu told him.

“That was Kita-speech for ‘get out of my sight,’” Akagi told him, “so we’re going to get the hell out now,” he continues, herding Omimi and Ojiro out the gym with him.

“Let’s go ‘tsumu,” Osamu told him.

“Go on ahead, ‘samu, I still have some things to say to Kita-san,” Atsumu answered his twin, barely paying attention enough to answer, looking like he had a lot on his mind, or one heavy thing on his mind.

Osamu raises one eyebrow at his twin, correctly guessing what he wanted to do.

“Goodluck, don’t come home crying or I’ll just laugh at you,” Osamu said.

“You coulda just left it at goodluck ‘samu!”

Here’s the thing, Atsumu has been a setter for 5 years now, and he always, _**always**_ loved his hitters, just for a little bit, just for a little while. It’s always happened to him, and he’s learned to deal with it. The hitter he loved most has always been his twin, because he’s been with him the longest and he’s been the only person who can keep up with Atsumu, and Atsumu will always cherish that, even if he barely shows it.

Come high school though, things got just a tad bit complicated. Volleyball has always been the on the forefront of the setter’s mind, but now other things have been intruding. As a setter, he’s learned how to read his teammates, assessing their physical and mental wellbeing, learning their quirks in order to make plays and strategies in game, but lately he’s been reading and assessing their captain for other reasons.

He wasn’t aware of it at first; his mind just noticed things Kita-san does and just file them away, like cleaning out the gym’s showers on a bi-weekly schedule, or doing a set amount of paperwork for managing their team after every training session to cool down, or how he arranges his hair so meticulously after every shower.

He also filed away the things Kita-san said about himself, every scarce bit that comes out of his captain’s mouth, like how Kita-san liked to do everything he did thoroughly just for the sake of it; that one time Kita-san said he was tired of his classes so he went away one weekend to visit a farm and thought that was a satisfying thing to work on, day in and day out so he thought it was what he was going to do after high school; or that he was worried his grandmother was already looking forward to his wedding when he didn’t even have anyone interested in him.

That part he said to Ojiro, to which Ojiro asked him, “But are you interested in anyone?” and Kita didn’t answer.

He was enlightened by his twin one day, when he casually asked Osamu, “Hey, ‘samu, what’d you think of Kita-san wanting to go into agriculture after high school?”

His twin was staring at him, “What?” Osamu asked.

“Kita-san went to a farm last weekend, and he liked it so much he wanted that to be a career? Didn’t you know?” Atsumu explained.

Osamu was the more emotionally intelligent of the two, having had things on his mind other than volleyball for longer than his twin. It looked like Atsumu was finally catching up, though.

“Okay three things,” Osamu started.

“One, why the hell’re’ya asking me about someone else’s career choices? Two, why’d’ya even care about someone else’s career choices? Three, are you aware that you have a crush on Kita-san?”

Atsumu was gaping at his brother, his mouth opening and closing several times, “W-what the hell are ya going on about?” Atsumu finally croaked out.

“This is the sixth time today you mentioned Kita-san,” Osamu explained, “and not because of volleyball. You have a crush on him, dumbass.”

“I—” Atsumu started.

“If you say no I’m walking away,” Osamu warned.

“—don’t have a crush on him?” Atsumu finished.

Osamu indeed walked away, thinking, _so much for him finally catching up._

That was last year at the end of their first year. Now Atsumu was a dumbass, but never let it be said that he was a coward. He was a dumbass because it took him the better part of the year to come to terms with it, but he was a go-getter.

He knocked on the door to the office, “Kita-san, can I talk to you?”

Kita looked up from what he was writing and said, “Come in. Did you have any questions about being captain?”

“No, it’s not about volleyball,” Atsumu said.

“Then… what?” Kita asked, bewildered that Atsumu would talk to him about anything other than volleyball.

Atsumu strolled in, standing beside the table Kita was sitting at.

“Remember last year, when you told Aran-kun that your grandmother was already looking forward to your wedding?” Atsumu started.

“Why do you know that? And how do you even remember that?” Kita asked, getting more confused.

“Don’t worry, Kita-san, he didn’t tell me. I heard it, you guys weren’t exactly whispering… and I remember everything about you,” Atsumu explained.

Kita stayed quiet.

“Remember what you answered when he asked you if you were interested in anyone?” Atsumu went on, getting smugger by the second. Kita didn’t answer this time as well.

“Well, when I say I remember everything about you, it included noticing everything about you. I was a little slow with connecting the dots, but I got it now. You didn’t answer then, too, which gave me the impression you **were** interested in someone, and since then I’ve been noticing these little things you do, it got me thinking…” here he bent down to face Kita straight on, full-on smug expression and all, “just now, you looked up awfully faster than you usually do if it was anyone else but me who came in, and you blushed when I asked you the same thing Aran-kun asked you last year, so Kita-san,” here he leaned in into Kita’s face, voice lowered, “is it me that you like?”

Kita was trying hard maintaining a neutral expression, “Why are you looking so smug there, Atsumu? You’re wrong.”

Atsumu paled, and started moving back from Kita’s face. He was so sure it was him, which gave him the confidence to do what he just did, far past the time he considered he might be wrong and it just hit him that he **was** wrong and _jesus christ this is so embarrassing I can’t even bother to feel heartbroken right now_ —

Before he could go too far though, Kita took him by the collar, put their faces as close as they were before, and whispered with a smile, “You’re wrong, it’s Shinsuke to you,” before kissing Atsumu.

Atsumu could only think one thing before he let himself get taken in by the kiss, _door open._

* * *

Suna entered the gym, having just changed into training clothes. It was quiet, the first years weren't here yet, but it was still unusual because the twins **were** here and it was **still** quiet. The twins were on opposite sides of the bench, facing the other way, with matching scowls still somehow aimed at the other. Osamu was taping his fingers, Atsumu was filing his nails.

Suna sighed.

"Okay, what's set the twins off this time?" he asked out loud.

"Apparently, it's official now. Osamu's done with volleyball after high school," Ginjima answered him.

"Ahh... that," Suna sighed again.

"I made up my mind a long time ago. I told myself that I was gonna get a job dealin' with food and food service, and that was that," Osamu finally says.

He stood up and faced everyone, but his words were only for Atsumu.

"Who says the one who sticks with volleyball is the more successful one by default, huh? I didn't pick this career outta some kind of compromise, or cuz I didn't think I could make it."

He took Atsumu by the collar, getting into his face; his was an ugly expression, almost screaming his words in anger.

"If you're so dang confident, so dang _sure_ you'll be the happier one, then come back when we're 80-year-old geezers! Wait until then to laugh in my face and say you were happier!"

"Okay, then. If that's the way you wanna do it, you're on," Atsumu stood up and started screaming at Osamu as well, "When we're on our deathbeds, I'm gonna turn and look you right in yer face, and say I had the happier life!"

Suna sighed. For the third time. Ginjima could hear him say "I miss Kita-san," while he walked away.

After training, Atsumu called Kita.

“Hello Chumu-chan. What did you need?” Kita greeted him.

“Wow Shin, can’t yer boyfriend just call you without needing reason?” Atsumu said.

“You act like a baby and text me nonsense first if you wanna do that,” Kita explained.

“I do? Guess you got me figured out, huh?” Atsumu drawled.

“I’ve been with you for almost a year now, Chumu. Now tell me what’s on your mind, you sound stressed,” Kita said.

“Osamu decided to quit volleyball after high school! He just told me now!” Atsumu told his boyfriend.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Kita remarked.

“You’re not?” Atsumu was getting ready to go on a rant, but he was stopped by that.

“No. I figured he would do something like that. Remember what you told me? That thing Osamu told you when you became starting setter in middle school?” Kita asked him.

Atsumu sighed into his phone, “He told me when it came to volleyball, I’m the one who loves it just a little bit more than he does,” he said.

“You can’t expect him to stay in the sport if he wanted to do something else, Chumu,” Kita pointed out.

“He said just a little bit more! And you know how much I love volleyball! If he feels just a little bit less than that, then he can stay with volleyball just fine!” Atsumu whined.

“True, but what if he loves something else more than volleyball?” Kita was trying to make Atsumu think reasonably, he knew, but he was just upset.

Atsumu paused, “I didn’t think about it like that,” he said quietly.

“Why do you sound even more miserable now?” Kita asked, although he had an idea.

“I never thought he’d leave me,” Atsumu admitted.

“Just because he’s leaving the sport doesn’t mean he’ll leave you too. Like you said, he still loves volleyball, so I’m pretty sure he’ll still play from time to time, it’s just that he wants to do something else for the rest of his life other than volleyball,” Kita explained gently.

“It’s not the same, Shin,” Atsumu said.

“I know it isn’t, but it’s something that can’t be helped,” Kita answered him.

Atsumu stayed quiet, still feeling upset.

“Look, how about you come here to my dorm for the weekend, let things between you and ‘samu cool down and settle. I’m pretty sure you fought with him over this?” Kita asked.

“Yeah…” Atsumu answered, “Yeah, I’m gonna go there,” he added.

“I’m gonna hang up now. See you soon, Chumu,” Kita said.

“See you soon.”

It was upsetting him more than he thought it would, Atsumu knew. It **hurt,** because it took him by surprise, and he genuinely never expected this from Osamu. It felt like Atsumu was left floating in the ocean all alone, no one in sight for a thousand miles in any direction. As he was walking home, he couldn’t help but think, _door closed for the Miya twins. From here on out it’s just gonna be Miya Atsumu._

He felt a twinge in his chest thinking it.

* * *

_Kōtarō Bokuto, huh?_ Atsumu thought as he entered the locker rooms, sighting the man.

"Oh! Hey Tsum-Tsum! It's so cool we're on the same team now!" Bokuto said to him in greeting.

"Let me start by saying one thing," Atsumu told him with a smile on his face, although it was anything but friendly.

"What?" Bokuto asked.

"If you fail to score off of one of my sets, I'd better not see you go all mopey and say you just ain't feelin' it that day. Got it?" Atsumu said threateningly.

Bokuto only laughed, saying "Of course I won't! I mean, I'm just the ace, after all," with a peculiar expression on his face.

Atsumu was visibly confused, but Bokuto paid him no mind, walking on out of the locker rooms.

“Training is gonna start soon, Tsum-Tsum! Let’s go!” Bokuto called out behind him.

Here’s the thing, Atsumu has sunk into the role of setter for quite some years now, and as a setter, he just can’t help but love his hitters. as a kid setter he was picky, with his hitters; he was hated in middle school because he was an asshole to hitters who he thought wouldn’t amount to anything more than mediocre, and even if he’s learned to be a bit **considerate** since then, he’s still picky with his hitters now.

At the pros though, no one mediocre can get in and last. In his team? It was like a banquet of talent. From the reliability and foundation of their older (by him, at least) members Meian and Tomas, to his generation’s unique hitters in Bokuto and Sakusa, and to a cannon in Barnes, Atsumu would surely enjoy being playmaker.

He was pleasantly surprised to find out that the Bokuto he knew of in high school was not the one he’s currently teammates with. He was aware of how talented the other was, of course, but with that talent came the various weaknesses that only Bokuto’s setter knew how to account for. Now though, Atsumu haven’t seen any weaknesses in Bokuto. _Just a good day today, or is this the new normal?_ he thought to himself.

The next day at training he met Sakusa. He has met Sakusa before, of course, during their high school tournaments. He’s played against his team too, and Atsumu’s well aware of Sakusa’s skills and aversion to germs. What he wasn’t aware of was how much of a smug, blunt jerk the other was.

“Atsumu-kun, you told Kageyama-kun all those years ago at the All-Japan Youth training camp that he was a little goody-two-shoe, but look at what you’re doing now?” Sakusa teased him.

“It’s called respecting your elders, Omi!” Atsumu defended himself.

Meian was between them; he clapped a hand on Sakusa’s shoulder, and teased him back, “You can stand to try to be like him, Sakusa-kun!”

Sakusa was glaring at the hand on his shoulder. _Right, he doesn’t like touching,_ Atsumu thought.

“As long as everyone does their jobs, I’ll be good,” Sakusa told their captain, and then walked away.

“Yes, he’s always been like that since high school. I’m pretty sure he’ll mellow out soon enough, though,” Atsumu said to Meian.

“He and Shion would get along then,” Meian responded, “let’s get this practice going!” he told Atsumu before saying the same to the others.

Atsumu was giddy. He knew his generation was dubbed as the monster generation, he’s heard it enough times. He can’t wait to play with everyone on this team against another pro team, can’t wait to use all these monsters to crush a team just as determined to crush them.

 _Maybe ‘samu was right, I do turn back into a kid when it comes to volleyball,_ He suddenly thought to himself. _So what, though? I’m definitely having more fun than him,_ He smirked to himself, _door wide open for me, ‘samu._

* * *

"Ugh... my serves suck! They suck sooooo bad!" Atsumu said as he plopped himself down on a chair and thumped his head on the counter.

"What? That new one you're tryin'? Ahhhh I gotcha. That new one ain't working out, and that started bleeding over, making you screw up your other serves. And then that started bleeding over. And now everything just sucks, right?" Osamu asked him.

Atsumu tilted his head to the side and stayed silent.

"Why the sudden need for a new one, though? You were doin' just fine with your other two. Why tinker with something that's already good enough?" Osamu pointed out.

"But I gotta!" Atsumu said, like a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum, "I saw Orlov doin' it, and now I've just gotta do it too! I mean how can I not?" he continued, like a 5-year-old baby.

Osamu was standing behind the counter, staring at his twin brother, used to the tantrums by now.

"It's just too cool! Like really, really cool! When you see somethin' cool, how can you not wanna do it too?!" Atsumu asked his twin.

"Now if you've been ‘I've gotta do it to get good!’ then that would've been one thing. I wouldn't mind trying to cheer you up then. But that ain't the case, is it? You wanna do it just cuz. And in that case, so what? Get so greedy you crash and burn, I don't care," Osamu told him.

"Hey! Do you gotta be mean?! Why can'tcha just tell me ‘You can do it! You're the most gifted guy ever!’ we both know that's—" Atsumu started screaming.

"One minced tuna and spring onion onigiri up," Osamu cut him off.

"Ooooohh yum!" Atsumu was successfully distracted by his twin's food, you know, like a gullible 5-year-old.

Osamu was chuckling to himself. This didn't always work, especially if they were the ones fighting and not just about a situation Atsumu was frustrated with, but today's batch of onigiris just did the trick. Atsumu looked like he was back in the game, the absolute dumbass.

"You got it in, didn'tcha?" Atsumu asked his brother after a swallow, "the first new rice of the year?"

"Came in last night," Osamu answered him with a smirk.

It was a journey to get where he was now. If Osamu mentioned the new rice of the year last year, Atsumu would’ve stood up and left. Now he can think back on Kita fondly.

It was his fault, really. After Osamu quit volleyball to start Onigiri Miya, Atsumu changed. He was already an asshole half the time and a dumbass the other half, but he was never an asshole with Kita. After Atsumu got into the Black Jackals, he started pulling away from Kita. They were already long distance, with Kita finishing his agriculture degree and going back to Hyogo to be a farmer, and Atsumu moving to Tokyo, and the emotional distance just put an added strain on them. Kita endured that for six months, before finally deciding to end things. He asked Atsumu to meet up in Hamamatsu for a weekend date at the coasts, and by the end of the weekend he broke up with Atsumu.

“Why the hell are you doing this to me, Shin?!” Atsumu asked him, tears threatening to fall down.

They were in their rented hotel room, just getting ready to leave each other again, but Atsumu thought it wasn’t gonna be permanent. Atsumu thought it was just like every other time they met up, having to leave the other but at least there was the prospect of seeing them again. This wouldn’t be like the other times, Atsumu realized.

“I’ve had enough, Atsumu. I told you what you were doing to me, but you kept brushing me off. The more I pushed, the more you just pulled away. Six months of being like that, Atsumu. I don’t think it’s worth it anymore,” Kita told him, face cold.

“So you’re just gonna leave me too? Knowing it was Osamu leaving that got me this way?” Atsumu threw back at him.

“Don’t be so selfish, Atsumu. It’s not only about you in this relationship,” Kita answered him.

“So what’s with this weekend then? You were acting so normally, Shin, I didn’t notice anything, and you know how good I am at reading you. I was happy, at least for the weekend! I didn’t think it’d come to this, I didn’t even get to **_prepare myself for the possibility of getting hurt, least of all by you!_** ” Atsumu was crying now, feeling his chest tightening.

“I wanted to give you one last beautiful memory of us, like we used to be, Chumu,” Kita said quietly, his eyes shining. He clutched at his chest, “I love you, Chumu, but I don’t think it’s worth it to be with you anymore. You’re hurting yourself, and as much as I tried to help you, you didn’t let me. In the process it was hurting me too,” Kita told him.

Atsumu was collapsed onto a chair, crying into his hands, but when Kita said he was hurting too he looked up at him, finally seeing clearly what was going on, what he let happen. _Six fucking months, I hurt him like this for six fucking months,_ he thought.

“Shin,” he said, trying to stand up, snorting in with the effort of trying to stop his tears, “Shin, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you,” Atsumu started.

Kita finally let the tears fall, although he was still controlling his expression, “You don’t know how much I wanted to hear that, b—” Kita started.

“Please, Shin, don’t end it here,” Atsumu begged.

“It’s too late now, Atsumu. I’m sorry too,” Kita said, before turning back to face the door and scrubbing at his face.

“This weekend was a thank you for the three years you gave me, Chumu. It was a beautiful journey with you, but it ends here,” Kita said, breathing deeply.

“Goodbye, Atsumu,” Kita finished, and with that he left.

Atsumu was left, again, but this time it wasn’t because of something he couldn’t help that happened. No, this time it was all because of something he did wrong.

There goes the door, closing on the room and on the possibility of Atsumu and Kita being together.

* * *

That was 2 years ago.

2 months after the break up, he took a break from that year’s season to go home and come to terms with what happened with him and Kita, and what happened with him after Osamu went on with Onigiri Miya.

It really wasn’t anyone else’s fault but his. He was being selfish, only thinking about himself when Osamu was his own person. He was taken in by that pain, and in his pain he started pulling away from everyone in the hope that it maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much if he was distant, not realizing that he was **guaranteeing** that someone would leave him, and that pulling away from everyone didn’t do shit to assuage the pain.

6 months after the break up, Osamu came home after settling a new branch of Onigiri Miya in Osaka, and Atsumu finally congratulated him.

“3 years overdue, dumbass,” Osamu told him, no heat in his voice.

“I deserve that,” Atsumu replied.

Things between them went back to normal, or at least as normal as Osamu not being in volleyball anymore, which was surprisingly not that different, all things considered. They still have their rivalry, but now it’s just over being happier than the other instead of volleyball. Atsumu took comfort in that.

8 months after the break up, Atsumu found out who’s been supplying Onigiri Miya’s rice, and promptly goes back to Tokyo.

 _11:47 am_  
**Traitor:** Coward.  
**Me:** Shut up traitor  
**Traitor:** What, you can’t handle seeing your ex?  
**Me:** I said shut up, samu  
**Traitor:** He’s my main supplier, dumbass. You can’t avoid him forever  
**Me:** What, you’re best friends with him now?  
**Traitor:** No, but we do have an understanding  
**Me:** you cant see me but I’m scoffing at that  
**Traitor:** We understand each other because we’re the only 2 people to, as you say, leave you  
**Traitor:** but lemme just say it’s not about you, tsumu

 _03:21 pm_  
**Traitor:** You better come home for our birthday

 _05: 19 pm_  
**Traitor:** or I’m coming there  
**Me:** fine  
**Traitor:** you’re a selfish dumbass, tsumu  
**Me:** I don’t listen to what traitors have to say samu

A year after the break up, the season ended and Atsumu went home once again. He finally talked to Kita, and was pleasantly surprised to find out that the pain he thought he’d feel was lessened considerably.

“Thank you for breaking up with me, even if it hurt,” Atsumu told him with a smile, bypassing any awkwardness, “It was the only thing you could think of to help me, didn’t you?” Atsumu added.

“No, I was just fed up with you,” Kita said. Atsumu’s smile faltered, and as he was about to apologize, Kita said, “I’m kiddin’. Mostly. I was fed up, but I did also think it would help.”

“It’s too soon to joke about it like that, Kita-san!” Atsumu whined.

“It’s been a year, Atsumu,” Kita pointed out.

“Still too soon!” Atsumu said, the dramatic baby.

A year and a month after the break up, Atsumu didn’t keep time by how long ago the break up was anymore, and he’s starting in the league’s season again. He also started working on his hybrid serve.

A few months shy of being 6 years after the Karasuno vs. Inarizaki match so long ago, Hinata Shouyou joined the MSBY Black Jackals.

"Aran-kun... I'm sorry I took you for granted." Atsumu thought as the monster generation got together in the hallway outside the bathroom, of all places.

Hinata was a surprise when he got into the Jackals. Atsumu was the one to assess him, and told his coach about the Barnes-Hinata switch up during plays for a season, and his coach clapped him on the shoulder, told him “your mind is absolutely disgusting,” and then told the whole team about his idea.

Atsumu was practicing with the team with switching in Barnes and Hinata between practice sets, trying to integrate both plays when they got the news of the Adlers wanting a match against them. Atsumu thought, _guess someone just couldn’t wait to see the little ray o’ sunshine, huh?_ knowing full well who’s on the Adlers.

Atsumu hated being behind Kageyama. He respected the guy, sure, but he hated him all the same. Hinata trying to cheer him up about the rankings was like kicking him while he was already down.

"C'mon, rankings aren't everything. Everyone's number one in their own way. Next time, how 'bout we all join hands and skip across the finish line together, hm?" he said in reply to Hinata, trying to be positive.

"Ew," Sakusa said.

"What's fun about a contest like that?" Bokuto asked.

"I get it okay! I get it! Second place is just the first loser! I know!!! And, Omi-kun, couldja try for once in yer life to not be so blunt?!" Atsumu screamed at them.

Atsumu was a setter, and as a setter he gives his all for his hitters to give their all. As a setter, he can’t help but love his hitters, especially during games like this. _First things first... we gotta make sure we say a proper hello,_ he thought, smiling to himself as Hinata announced himself to everyone in the arena.

When his first serve goes out of bounds, he can’t help but remember that time he was complaining to Osamu about his hybrid serve. He remembers the way his twin reacted, and he can’t help but turn to where he knew the stall for Onigiri Miya was and scream "You were dissin' me right then weren't you? I know you were! Shut yer mouth!" to his twin.

As the jackadlers game progresses, Atsumu can’t help but gloat internally. _Look at all these monsters around me, ‘samu. Look at how much fun I’m having setting these plays, how much fun it is to aggravate the monsters on the other team. Look how happy I am, ‘samu. Can you say you were happier than me?_ he thought as he congratulated Sakusa on his service ace.

"Geez, Omi-kun! That was gross, just gross!" He said.

One good thing about Osamu leaving volleyball, Atsumu gets to finally feel his twin’s pride in him. Their competition in sets, spikes, and digs were long gone, and he could only feel Osamu’s support for him. As Atsumu scored an ace with his new hybrid, he can practically hear his twin’s cheer all the way from the stands.

"Somebody's gotten good and warmed up," Osamu mumbled to himself, smiling.

 _It was a nice feeling,_ Atsumu thought.

As the game progresses, Atsumu falls into the rhythm. This was the mood he gets in that Kita used to call his super focused setter mode. As the Adlers score against him, all that was on his mind was Inarizaki’s banner. It’s followed him from his high school days up to now, and at the moment all he could think was _yesterday's gone. So what are we gonna do today?_

“And Hinata does it! He scores the final point in this long deuce against the Adlers! The Black Jackals has won against the Adlers in an incredible game, with the final set scoring 33-31! Hinata Shoyo wins the final point against the Adlers in his debut game this season! That was incredible!”

“Wow that short guy really is something huh?”

“Who _is_ he?”

“I can’t believe the Adlers lost, and in their home game too!”

Atsumu could hear it all.

Everyone except Sakusa piled up on Hinata, everyone trying to catch their breath as the stadium loses it. Atsumu could almost hear the cheers of the people who weren’t here too.

As they shake hands, he could see the (once again) rivals, Hinata and Kageyama staring at each other from across the net. Kageyama points at Hinata, then said “Now we’re one a piece,” and then walked away.

“We’ll be playing a full match too, Kageyama! Just you wait!” Hinata calls out to him.

Atsumu can’t help but fall in love, just a little bit.

During cool down, Osamu found the team and handed them onigiris, remembering which were the favorites of whom by now. As Osamu handed him his, Atsumu can’t help but grin at his twin.

“I’m so happy, ‘samu,” Atsumu told him.

“I couldn’t tell, ‘tsumu,” Osamu answers him sarcastically.

“Yeh know, this was just a game out of dozens this season, but I still feel like this was an open door,” he said.

“You and your doors. No one gets it, dumbass,” Osamu told him with a roll of his eyes.

“You can be as much of a downer as you want, ‘samu! But no one can bring me down from this!” Atsumu declared.

Osamu snorts, staying quiet to eat his own onigiri.

“I feel like I can do anything right now, ‘samu,” Atsumu said as he eyed Hinata from across court talking to his former team and friends.

Osamu followed where he was looking and promptly laughed.

“Goodluck with that bro. Just remember, get so greedy you crash and burn, I don't care,” Osamu told him.

“Nothing can get me down!” Atsumu said once again, pointing to Osamu as he walked away.

* * *

At the JackAdlers party, (as it was called) there were definitely more people here than anyone expected. Anyone who fought anyone in the jackadlers were here at some point, from the teams Karasuno fought in their first nationals, to the Tokyo teams during Sakusa’s high school days, to almost every team in Miyagi prefecture; it was a packed house. Atsumu already met most of the Tokyo teams and was surprised that Hinata knew the Fukurodani group. He was also surprised to meet the Miyagi’s Iron Wall at the party, since he got the impression back when they went to nationals that that particular team keeps to themselves, and _did their middle blocker just bow to Hinata????_

Atsumu was a setter, and as a setter he always kept track of his hitters, even off games. He had always had to pay more attention to Bokuto and Hinata because those two were the team’s troublemakers, either by their own volition or accidentally. Sakusa was the prickly one who liked to keep to himself but he also liked to provoke everyone on the team, Inunaki-san was the deliberate prankster, Barnes and Tomas were the fathers—literally—and their captain Meian was the one responsible for the olders’ antics while he relied on Atsumu to wrangle in the younger ones.

As Atsumu circled around talking to friends, missing Inarizaki, (Suna and Ojiro couldn’t make it since they have their own teams to train with that day, and Kita couldn’t make the 7 hour drive up) he noticed something. He knew Hinata was just a ray of sunshine and energy, but he was talking to **everyone.** Atsumu was used to keeping an eye on him and Bokuto, and every time he looked for the smaller hitter he was talking to a different person. There was even a 2-meter-tall guy he introduced to Barnes! Another time he was with Ushijima and his high school team talking to a bald guy, making all these gestures and succeeded in making Ushijima _smile???_

Bokuto was with his setter from high school, holding hands while making his own rounds around everyone. As usual, he was loud, which made keeping an eye on him easier. He was in his own way like Hinata, approachable and friendly, but the difference was he hasn’t met most people in the room. Sakusa was with his cousin in one corner of the room, or close to the door, or the bathroom; Atsumu was sure it was only either of those three. He would check up on him later. If he remembered.

The older members of the jackadlers teams were clustered around with the coaches and older family members of the players, and they’ve started the drinks. Atsumu thought _it won’t hurt if I don’t keep such a close eye on everyone for one night._ He went to get himself a drink from his brother who, unsurprisingly now that he was in food service, was with the coaches assisting in their food and drinking.

When Atsumu felt like he had had enough alcohol in him to make his move, he went to look for Hinata, who was finally settled down with his former team, telling stories about Brazil and training with the Jackals. He stood back for a bit, just watching him. In his alcohol addled state he can’t help but think _the sunshine metaphor really does fit him. He just shines with his big presence, and you can’t help but be drawn in._

“And we were on the good side now, right? Heitor and I were just pushing through, trying to get a break, and it was their serve. I noticed it got a bit too much power in it, and I thought it was going to go out, but the wind put it just inside the line! I really couldn’t believe we lost to the wind,” Hinata was telling the story with big gestures, “It wasn’t until later that I figured out they deliberately used the court switching to their advantage. See they were the ones who picked the bad side by choice at the start of the game. I think they did that so that by the end of the match they’d get to do that with their serves. It was amazing! I asked them how they knew to do that and they just told me it came with experience,” Hinata concluded.

“But did Heitor propose?” Azumane asked.

“Wow beach volleyball sure is a different thing altogether from indoors, eh Yamaguchi-kun?” Yachi told him.

“Only Hinata would be crazy enough to go back to the basics like that,” Tsukishima said with a shake of his head.

“That’s the thing! He was gonna tell Nice that he was gonna work harder to win, but Nice was the one who proposed!” Hinata got excited and stood up, telling the affair of the wedding, “I told Heitor I was gonna attend his wedding, and then I was gonna come home, and that’s what I did,” Hinata said with a smile.

Atsumu fell a little bit more in love.

He went up to Hinata and said, “Hinata-kun, mind talking with me for a bit?” He said.

“Sure. I’ll be back in a bit Kageyama!” Hinata shouted behind him as Atsumu herded him to a corner with less people.

“You look like yer having fun,” Atsumu started.

“I am! I haven’t seen most of everyone here since I came back, it was nice catching up,” Hinata told him with a smile, “How about you, Atsumu-kun? I noticed most of Inarizaki isn’t here, although your brother is here—”

“Go out with me?” Atsumu blurted out.

 _why is it that when it comes to Hinata you just blurt out shit without even thinking about it? Why can’t you just even stop just for a fuckin seco—_ Atsumu though, but then Hinata answered him.

“No way!” He said with a serious face.

“O-Oh? What? Why?” Atsumu was taken aback.

“I-I mean… man I think we both had too much alcohol tonight,” Hinata said as he dragged a palm down his face.

Atsumu leaned against a wall, looking down at the drink in his hand. After a beat Atsumu answered him, “Maybe yer right. Explain your rejection?” Atsumu asked, facing the other man.

“Oh right… I’m sorry, but I’m kinda already taken?” Hinata said, but it sounded like a question.

Atsumu raised an eyebrow at him, “Are yeh tellin’ me or askin’ me?”

“I just meant! Okay so…” Hinata took a deep breathe here, “I already had a fling with Oikawa in Rio, and if I wanna finally ask Kageyama out, that’s like, enough of the flings for me,” Hinata rambled.

“Who said I wanted to be a fling?” Atsumu asked again, this time teasing.

“I—stop fucking with my head man! You know what I meant,” Hinata complained, “I just meant I can’t go out with you, because I want to go out with Kageyama. Ignore what I said about Oikawa-san,” Hinata waved his hand in front of him, as if trying to wipe the words from Atsumu’s mind.

“Why's the fling with this Oikawa person so important?” Atsumu probed.

“Oh right, you don’t know him,” Hinata started, “He’s from Miyagi too, went to high school the same year as Ushijima-san, and their teams were always up against each other during finals of every tournament. Oikawa-san never went to nationals because Shiratorizawa always beat them. A few weeks after I went to Rio I met him there, he was on the Argentinian league taking a break in Brazil, and I was kinda homesick, and things went from there…” Hinata was definitely drunk, rambling like this.

“Okay… what does that have to do with Tobio-kun?” Atsumu questioned.

“Oh! Right. You could say Kageyama was Oikawa-san’s rival. They went to the same middle school, they were on the same team, and Kageyama was a prodigy even then so he replaced Oikawa as a starter. Most of the people in his middle school team wanted to bench Kageyama in his third year though, so Kageyama ended up in Karasuno compared to most of his middle school team going to the same high school as Oikawa-san,” Hinata finished.

“Ahh now I get it,” Atsumu straightened up, “let me guess, you haven’t told Tobio-kun yet?” He asked.

“No, but I’m planning to tell him real soon,” Hinata said, also straightening up.

“Tell me what?” Kageyama asked them both, which startled the two.

“…how much of that did you hear?” Hinata nervously asked.

“That you were just gonna tell me something soon,” Kageyama said, looking at one to the other.

“I uhh, I’m gonna bow out now and let you two talk. No hard feelings, Hinata-kun?” Atsumu asked.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” Hinata told him.

“I’ll get over it, easy,” Atsumu said with a wave of his hand, “Goodluck,” he added, and then walked away.

 _So much for nothing can bring me down, eh?_ Atsumu thought to himself, looking for his brother. When he found him, Osamu just laughed in his face.

“Crashed and burned?” He asked.

“Yeh don’t have to be so smug about it,” Atsumu grumbled.

Osamu brought an onigiri to him.

“Eat up, you big dumbass,” Osamu told him fondly.

Door closed.

* * *

The next season Kageyama was overseas. Atsumu was bitter, even though the Jackals took the season in a sweep, Atsumu can’t help but think it was only because Kageyama wasn’t playing. His teammates were trying to cheer him up.

“Have you forgotten we beat them _with_ Kageyama as setter last year?” Meian asked him.

“We can beat him again when Kageyama comes back!” Hinata told him determinedly.

“You do know he’s your boyfriend, right?” Inunaki asked Hinata.

“That doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on him! He’ll probably get madder if I do…” Hinata thought out loud to himself.

“Plus it’s not like all the teams we fought were easy, give yourself some credit, Tsum-Tsum! I hated the Sendai Frogs! Their blockers were the worst! They had Tsukki, and that giant setter too! But we beat them!” Bokuto told him.

“Ahh kids these kids really are something, huh? We won but they’re beating themselves down because the top challenger isn’t in attendance?” Tomas said to Barnes, sounding exactly like a dad laughing at the antics of his kids.

“Aren’t you gonna say something, Omi-Omi?” Atsumu pouted at Sakusa.

Sakusa walked over to where Atsumu was sitting, leans in a bit to stare at his eyes, and flicks his forehead.

“You did a good job, dumbass. I didn’t work my ass off this whole season just for you to brush off our win for something as shallow as a setter—who we beat before—not being here to continue your rivalry,” Sakusa told him, then walked back to his corner.

Everyone was staring between the two of them, waiting to see what would happen. Fights between Sakusa and Atsumu were normal, but that was when Atsumu was the dumbass-jerk and Sakusa was the too-blunt jerk, but right now Atsumu was just being a baby, as his twin warned the team, saying he was prone to tantrums now and then.

Atsumu stood up and went to Sakusa’s corner, leaving the rest of the team behind him to watch them.

“You touched me,” Atsumu told him.

“What?” Sakusa asked, irritated.

“You touched me!” Atsumu said, perking up, “You flicked my forehead, that’s considered as touching!”

“Oh-kay, what about it?” Sakusa asked again, getting confused and wanting to bolt. He could practically feel his other teammates’ stares from behind Atsumu.

“You never touch anyone!” Atsumu said, proud, “and you voluntarily touched me!”

Sakusa just stared at him for a beat, scoffed a “what a dumbass,” under his breath, and shouldered Atsumu out of the way to get out of the room.

“That’s touching too, Omi!” Atsumu called out to him.

When Sakusa was out of the room, there was a collective exhale.

“Man, I thought Sakusa was gonna kill you, Tsum-Tsum!” Bokuto told him.

“He wasn’t gonna kill him,” Meian said.

“I thought he would, too,” Hinata added.

“No one’s allowed to kill anyone. If you do, you get banned from the league, not to mention you’re going to prison,” Tomas told everyone.

“Bet you getting banned from the league is the only reason why Sakusa hasn’t killed anyone,” Inunaki snickered to Barnes.

“No bet man, I’m not gonna lose money to that,” Barnes chuckled.

Atsumu seems to have recovered from his pouting. The teams they faced **were** formidable, even if they were no Schweiden Adlers. This season was a good one, and it just opened up a lot more doors for the Jackals.

* * *

Sakusa stormed into the gym, heading straight for Atsumu who was doing stretches. Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him quickly approaching Atsumu; they’ve only ever seen Sakusa so determined like he was now during a game, so it was a little bit disconcerting what got him so worked up.

“I think he’s finally gonna do it, he’s finally gonna kill Tsum-Tsum,” Bokuto whispered to Hinata next to him.

“I thought Meian-san said he can’t do that?” Hinata whispered.

“I can hear you both you know,” Meian said.

“What did Atsumu do this time?” Tomas asked out loud, exasperated.

“Pipe down, I want to watch this,” Inunaki shushed them.

“You are the biggest dumbass I have ever had the displeasure to know,” Sakusa started.

“Hello to you too, Omi,” Atsumu pleasantly said, “What can I do yah for today?”

“We need to talk. After training. I’m gonna text you where, and you better show up,” Sakusa said in a clipped tone.

“Okay?” Atsumu looked up at him, confused.

Sakusa turned back, walking towards the exit. Before he went out, he looked at the rest of the team. Everyone turned back to what they were doing, pretending that they weren’t just watching them.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill him. Not yet,” Sakusa said, smirked, and then left.

Everyone was left staring at the exit, until they heard Atsumu.

“I’m scared,” the setter said.

“Well what did you do that got him so mad anyway?” Meian asked him.

“I don’t know! I haven’t pranked him since off-season started!” Atsumu defended himself.

“Well you must’ve done something, Sakusa-kun wouldn’t be like that for no reason,” Tomas said.

“Did you two do anything to him and blamed it on me?!” Atsumu asked, turning to Bokuto and Hinata, who both held out their hands and shook their heads. _They’re fucking turning into each other,_ Atsumu thought.

“Nothing! We didn’t do anything! Swear!” they said.

Atsumu sighed.

“If I don’t show up tomorrow, you know who to arrest,” he said dramatically.

 _14:19_  
**Omi Omi:** The restaurant Inarizaki always ate at during nationals. What time will you finish training?

_How did he even know there was a restaurant we went to?_

**Me:** depends on who wants to train after official training hours end…  
**Omi Omi:** Set. A. Time.  
**Me:** do I get a clue why yer mad at me if i do?  
**Omi Omi:** Atsumu I swear to god.  
**Me:** Omi u know how important training is to these guys!  
**Omi Omi:** This is important too.  
**Me:** fine fine. I’ll meet you there at 6. dinner?  
**Omi Omi:** that’s good.  
**Me:** see you soon my grumpy Omi!  
**Omi Omi:** dumbass.

After official training hours ended, Atsumu was surprised that none of the Jackals wanted to hang out around the gym and work on what they were currently working on, like a usual weekday.

“Hey, all of you are going home? This early?” Atsumu questioned.

“Sakusa-kun texted me to clear out of the gym as soon as training ends,” Tomas said.

“Hey! I got the same text!” Bokuto said, holding out his phone.

“Me too!” Hinata also showed him his phone.

“…Did all of you get that text?” Atsumu said uneasily.

“Is it that obvious?” Inunaki said sarcastically.

“Goodluck ‘tsumu,” Meian clapped him on the shoulder, “try not to die tonight.”

The rest of the team laughed at that, but Atsumu was starting to get nervous.

“It’s not a funny joke!” He said.

“Bye!” everyone said as they left one after another.

Atsumu headed to one of the restaurant’s more secluded booths, already knowing what Sakusa preferred when going out, already expecting to see him in one, cleaned like he always does, and he did. Sakusa was reading when he got there, but when he saw Atsumu he straightened up and put the book away.

“I disinfected my hands before coming here, and I didn’t touch anything,” He prefaced, “So, am I living past tonight?” Atsumu asked as a joke.

“Thanks, and that depends on how tonight goes,” Sakusa said with a blank face.

Here’s the thing, Atsumu has been the Jackals’ setter for his entire pro volleyball career, and Sakusa was part of most of that. Atsumu has learned most of his quirks and routines, but he **still** hasn’t cracked the code to his expressions, a first for Atsumu. Osamu has heard about his frustrations on a monthly basis, which he always just laughs at. Every month, he would go to Osamu trying to figure out _why_ he can’t read Sakusa’s face, and every month it was a different reason.

_  
“I think it’s his hooded eyes,” He said one month, “Those eyes don’t show shit,” Atsumu lamented._

_“It’s his face muscles! He never moves them! The only time he moves his face muscles is just to smirk, and even that stupid smirk is unreadable!”_

_“It’s always those masks he wears. I’m pretty sure he’s hiding behind that mask. He could be sticking his tongue out at me and I wouldn’t ever know.”_

_“He uses his hair to hide! He has this one move that just puts the locks in front of his eyes, and with that mask his whole face is virtually covered! He’s doing it on purpose, I swear!”  
_

Now Sakusa was removing his mask, sweeping his bangs to the side of his eyes, expression neutral, and he was just staring at Atsumu.

“I’m sorry?” Atsumu said, thinking that maybe apologizing to him from the get-go was going to at least lessen what he was gonna endure tonight.

“Try again,” Sakusa replied.

Atsumu sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table, staring at Sakusa.

“Okay, well, I don’t know why yer mad at me,” Atsumu admitted.

“What, even with my face on display for you, you have no idea?” Sakusa teased.

“You still do—wait, how d’you know about that?” Atsumu cut himself off, confused, because the only person who knew about his struggles with reading Sakusa’s expressions is Osamu.

“I talked to your twin, since you were being an absolute dumbass,” Sakusa started to explain.

“I mean, true, but there’s a specific reason why yer calling me a dumbass, aren’tcha?” Atsumu replied.

“I also talked to Kita-san. I like him, he’s a good man,” Sakusa added.

“Why would you even talk to my ex?” Atsumu was more confused than ever.

“Because, dumbass, _I have been in love with you for the better part of the year now and **you still haven’t done anything about it.**_ ” Sakusa said, every word getting sharper and sharper.

While Sakusa was talking, Atsumu was highly focused on his face. It was the first time Atsumu saw his face as open as it was now, and he took advantage of it. He took in every muscle shift in his face every time he moved his mouth, the way he slightly leaned forward with the edge in his voice, and finally the way his eyes slightly crumpled at the sides, and Atsumu could clearly see the frustration, fear, and hurt in him.

Atsumu was, quite frankly, shocked. Too much information was coming at him, and he needed at moment to absorb everything. Sakusa has been in love with him for the better part of the year, and in all that time, _he didn’t notice._

“What kind of setter am I?” Atsumu mumbled to himself.

“ **What?** ” Sakusa asked.

“Huh? Oh no, I was only… sorry Omi, that was a shock, you know. Geez, give a man a minute,” Atsumu breathed out, still trying to come to terms with it.

Sakusa leaned back in his chair, sighing. He was looking at Atsumu with a calculating look on his face, and after a moment, said “Why don’t we order some food? This is for dinner, after all.”

Atsumu nodded. And then he registered exactly what Sakusa said.

“Wait! You said yer in love with me, for the past year or so, and _you were waiting for **me** to make a move_?” Atsumu questioned.

Sakusa blushed. **_Sakusa blushed._**

“I told you! I talked to your twin, and he gave me Kita-san’s number because he was the only frame of reference I could get on you when you were in a relationship!” Sakusa defended himself, “and he said you were the one to make the move on him!”

“Yeah I did! Cuz I knew he was crushin’ on me! I didn’t know _you_ were!” Atsumu answered back, paused, and then said, “You were **_researching_** me?”

Sakusa blushed harder. And see, here’s the thing. With that blush, Atsumu finally absorbed what was happening. He was in a restaurant that had special memories of him and his high school team, with a hitter who just confessed to him, and Atsumu wasn’t trying to be a little shit, he really wasn’t, but sometimes opportunities like this are just too good for him to pass up.

“Are we on a date, Omi?” Atsumu asked with a disbelieving laugh, leaning forward on the table to look closer at Sakusa “Was that, back there at the gym, you asking me out on a date?”

“Osamu was right, you _are_ a little shit,” Sakusa grumbled, looking away, his blush still not receding.

“But you love me,” Atsumu can’t help but tease.

Sakusa looked back at him with an intense glare. Atsumu raised his hands in surrender.

“Alright, alright, too soon,” He said placatingly, “I have questions,” he added.

“Then ask,” Sakusa said, recovering from his embarrassment.

“First, how’d yeh know about this place? Second, how exactly did you fall in love with me? Third, you called me the dumbass but yer the one who waited for someone who didn’t know you were in love with them!” Atsumu said.

Sakusa was looking at him with a disbelieving face.

“First, this was the restaurant we met. Second, it was entirely against my will, but it was when you first started calling me Omi, and the third one wasn’t even a question,” Sakusa said evenly, staring straight at Atsumu.

“What do you mean restaurant we met? We met at our first nationals!” Atsumu said.

“Oh my god why did I fall in love with a dumbass,” Sakusa groaned, leaning his forehead on the table.

“Nooooo Omi! Explain!” Atsumu said, tapping the table next to Sakusa’s head.

“We met before the finals started, in this restaurant. You were with your team and I was with Komori,” Sakusa said, “but we didn’t get to eat here because it was packed.”

“Why can’t I remember? I wouldn’t forget you!” Atsumu asked.

“Why are you asking me, dumbass?” Sakusa said.

“Okay… Omi,” Atsumu said with a smirk.

“I’ve gotten used to that,” Sakusa said.

“No you haven’t. You’re eyes tightened there just for a second,” Atsumu said, getting better at reading the other already.

“What?” Sakusa asked.

Before Hinata got into the Jackals, Atsumu admitted to himself he **was** already having thoughts about Sakusa, but he wasn’t planning on doing anything about it—he was already used to loving his hitters. Not being able to read him was what made Atsumu pay more attention to the him, even if he wasn’t conscious he was doing it. Hinata came into the Jackals and did what he did best—shine, and that blinded Atsumu, up until Hinata rejected him.

See, Atsumu was a setter, and he was resigned to the fact that he would love his hitters, even if nothing came out of that love except for success in volleyball. It was a few years since Atsumu last thought about love in the long run, but his thoughts then came back easily now: if he were to go down that road—love, marriage, one person for the rest of his life—he would want to end up with someone who understood that his love for volleyball would probably equal his love for them.

And then Atsumu realized something. He thought this when he was with Kita, but not ever since then, not until now, _not even when he tried to get together with Hinata,_ which was really saying something about how he felt towards Sakusa.

And here, Atsumu wasn’t the one to open the door on this one, no, but Atsumu was a go-getter, always has been, probably always will be.

“You should’ve said something sooner, Omi,” Atsumu said seriously, “It would have saved us both a lot of time.”

“Fucking finally,” Sakusa said.

They went on with the date.

 _11:42 pm_  
**Me:** when, exactly, were you gonna tell me that Omi talked to you?  
**Suna’s Bitch:** Omi?  
**Me:** Sakusa. Kiyoomi.  
**Suna’s Bitch:** never planned on telling you tsumu  
**Me:** why the fuck not  
**Suna’s Bitch:** wait, tell me what happened first  
**Me:** he went up to me during training and told me to go to that restaurant where we used to eat during nationals! apparently i met him there??  
**Suna’s Bitch:** what you didnt know when you met the guy????  
**Me:** shut up samu, i thought i met him during nationals okay  
**Suna’s Bitch:** youre such a dumbass  
**Suna’s Bitch:** then what happened  
**Me:** he told me he loved me! then we had dinner, it was a great date :D  
**Suna’s Bitch:** ha  
**Suna’s Bitch:** i win  
**Me:** you win what  
**Suna’s Bitch:** i win against Rin and Kita-san. I bet them Sakusa would be the one to confess  
**Me:** fuck you  
**Me:** i’m changing yer name back to traitor  
**Suna’s Bitch:** as if that ever bothered me  
**Suna’s Bitch:** congrats, tsumu

Atsumu was lying in bed that night, thinking back on his dinner with Sakusa. It really did go amazingly. They had the same sense of humor apparently, which was essentially just picking on someone else, and most of the time they picked on each other, but Atsumu counted that as a win.

What he can’t stop thinking about was when he asked Sakusa how he fell in love with him and Sakusa almost exploded, frustratingly lists down his reasons.

“It was entirely against my will! I told you it just started with you calling me Omi. It was annoying but it was endearing and I didn’t even know why. Then you started disinfecting your hands and making sure I knew, and remember when I asked you why and you just said _“for your peace of mind, Omi, I know how much you hate germs,”_ and it was so fucking sweet and I wasn’t expecting that from you! Another time was when you were almost about to touch me, and you pulled back at the last second and fucking _apologized???_ Those days I kept thinking _maybe he was doing this on purpose? Acting like a big fat jerk and then doing these sweet considerate things to make me fall in love with him,_ but no, you were so fucking genuine, and I just couldn’t help but fall in love with your dumbass!”

“I feel like I should apologize to you, Omi,” Atsumu laughingly said to him.

“No, you don’t have to, you’re just so frustrating sometimes,” Sakusa said with a wave of his hand, failing to maintain an annoyed expression.

He really couldn’t believe he didn’t notice Sakusa’s feelings. 10 months of pining instead of just telling Atsumu, the idiot.

The last thought Atsumu was thinking before he fell asleep was this: This was one of those rare situations that Atsumu didn’t actively do anything to attain. Sakusa just fell in love with him, and they decided to give it a shot. It was a novel sensation, having someone choose him for a change. This wasn’t a simple door open or door close situation, no, it was like Sakusa broke down the door, and then invited Atsumu through.

* * *

Atsumu decided to retire from pro volleyball at 33.

Sakusa retired 5 years before he did, the traitor. Atsumu threw a huge fit over the decision, but Sakusa just brushed him off, and when Atsumu tried to pull away from _him,_ of all people—his legal life partner—well suffice it was to say that Atsumu got a helluva scolding from Osamu, Kita, and Sakusa himself.

During those 5 years Kita got Sakusa into farming, which solidified the decision for them to move to Hyogo. Now they have a little shop with fresh vegetables and spices, and Sakusa sometimes helped out at Onigiri Miya.

It was a rough 5 years for them, but they got through it. Mostly because Sakusa became stubborn whenever Atsumu became a clingy baby all the way from Tokyo, and it was always a game to see who would break first. Osamu was leading the wins against Suna and Kita on the bets.

The week he decided to retire, he got a job offer to be Inarizaki’s volleyball coach. It was something he never considered, thought he didn’t have the patience for, but apparently Sakusa and Kita both thought he’d be a good coach, so he gave it a shot.

He was surprised to discover he had a knack for coaching; leading players to where he thought would be their best forte, their best skillset and 9 times out of 10 he was right. From the grumpy little boy he was—an absolute little shit to hitters when he was a kid, to a 30 something retired pro volleyball player coaching at his alma mater, it was a long ways travelled, but at the same time it wasn’t really that far. All of it only revolved around volleyball, after all.

Coaching was different from actually playing the sport, and here he finally understood Kita when he said winning or losing are just side effects from doing things properly. As a coach, his fixation on wins and losses was finally dissolved. He was still a little shit to his hitters, and not just hitters now but everyone on a team, but only when he knew it would help.

He kept the banner too, “who needs memories.” Well, it wasn’t exactly **his** to keep, but he instilled the meaning of the banner in his first and current team nonetheless.

For him though, it’s gotten muddier. On one hand, he’ll always strive for progress, never minding past accomplishments and never getting complacent because he was already great, but on the other hand, his memories are treasured.

His most treasured ones are these:

Osamu.

His earliest memories were always with his twin. He was never alone (except for that awful year that he left him, and Kita) and the two of them playing volleyball was special, of course. Not that they don’t still play today, but at the height of their run as the Miya twins in volleyball, there were some pretty impressive plays they pulled. Atsumu would always appreciate how after Osamu quit volleyball, he was still there for him, and even if that wasn’t the first time he felt the full extent of someone being proud of him, Osamu’s pride in him means so fucking much to Atsumu.

Not that he would _ever_ say any of this to his twin, of course.

Sakusa.

Sakusa’s the only person to ever drag Atsumu’s mind away from volleyball (usually toward bacteria management but still) and that opened him up to a whole slew of new things. Atsumu was already 30-something years old but he was just now discovering the joys of sitting in his back yard on a hammock with the love of his life picking vegetables and spices; of casual touches that don’t seem much but when you’re deprived of them you realize just how much they mean; of nights spent talking about anything and everything and being so comfortable you practically feel your heart expand; Sakusa was the only person who could get Atsumu to learn all he could about a particular fungi that was growing in his garden because Sakusa was terrified like fuck and he needed to do something about it; was the only person to ever bring out Atsumu being protective when the hitter was mobbed by a crowd after they won a game in another country; Sakusa was the person to bring much more flavor into Atsumu’s life of only volleyball. After Osamu left competitive volleyball behind, Sakusa became Atsumu’s favorite hitter, never achieving the twin’s awareness with each other, no, but developing something different on the court, something only he and Sakusa will know and never mention to anyone but themselves.

His work as a coach.

Even if this was something new, Atsumu dearly loved his coaching. It wasn’t about the ball, and it wasn’t about winning or losing, and it wasn’t even about himself. It was about people, young kids like he once were, loving the sport, continuing in the sport, living the sport for another generation. It was fulfilling in a way that volleyball never was, and that was something he proudly told his old teammates, even if he did get some ribbing because of it. He would easily admit going soft, not in the physical sense (he’s still vain, of course) but opposite of the way that he was always high strung, trying to prove something to himself. He was finally _satisfied_ with himself and how he was as person now. He will still try to progress, yes, that will never change, but it wasn’t out of some lack of something in him like it was motivated before. It was simpler now, his motivation—he just wanted to.

Atsumu thought this as he was getting ready for the day, and realized what these three had in common—these were the ones that made themselves known to him, instead of him going after them. It was enough to make him pause, and then he laughed to himself, thinking _man, life sure can be something else sometimes, eh?_

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think on my [twitter!](https://twitter.com/yadoiAnghel)


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